Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Q: I read a YouTube comment speculating that THE BEAM is merely lens-flare, could you respond to that?

A: Lens flare occurs when a camera is pointed at a bright source of light such as the sun. I was not pointing my camera at the sun when THE BEAM appeared. Please keep in mind that I actually saw the flash of THE BEAM with my naked eye as I was filming (I was not looking through the camera). Here is a visual comparison:


Lens flare.

Q: Sam, isn't the ELLIPSE just the result of a controlled-burn?

A: No. Controlled-burns, AKA "prescribed-burns", are highly regulated events that take months of planning prior to implementation (deliberately setting fire to the landscape is right up there with filing taxes as far as paperwork goes). The fact there is absolutely ZERO documentation referring to any type of prescribed-burn within the Cerro De Los Taoses mountain-range is proof that the ELLIPSE is not a remnant of a typical controlled-burn. I spent a week scouring dozens of government and private websites in search of information that could assist me in identifying what the ELLIPSE is and came up with nothing. I even called the Bureau of Land Management and spoke to the "Fire Specialist" that oversees the land on which the ELLIPSE appears…he said there is no way they would execute a controlled-burn up there because of the close proximity to the various communities scattered throughout the area. I'll now provide some visual proof of my research:
Example of the required documentation associated with prescribed-burns in New Mexico.
A press-release is also required prior to igniting prescribed-burns (to alert the public of potential hazard).
I found this nifty map displaying every incident of fire (prescribed & natural) in and around the ELLIPSE between the years 1970 and 2008.

Q: I read the Yahoo News article about the light beam that was photographed coming straight out of the Chichen Itza pyramid in Mexico…what the hell is going on Sam?

A: Yahoo's job is to control the parameters of conversation (thought). For example, the article you're referring to offered up 2 options for what the beam could be, and those options are:

  1) A sign that the END OF THE WORLD is near.
  2) A consumer electronics malfunction.

And guess what, those are your only 2 options! 

I honestly cannot fathom how anyone with any sense of discernment would believe anything Yahoo News vomits forth. The fact they are attempting to dictate the boundaries of potential explanations re: mysterious light beams is more proof  THE BEAM I caught on film was not intended for public consumption. 

I also find it compelling that the only other time "an iPhone malfunction" occurred when "photographing lightning" is the time when a beam appeared to be coming directly out of the top of one of the most significant/mystical archaeological sites in the world...considering the world is now saturated with iPhones, shouldn't the world also be at least semi-saturated with beam pics? I predict the consensus-trance-telemarketers will soon inject google-images with photos of concocted beam pics in order to bolster their "iPhone malfunction" disinformation campaign. *Please see my previous posts entitled MAINSTREAM BEAM and CONSENSUS-TRANCE-TELEMARKETERS for more "crazy-talk" like this (haha, it's funny how I'm considered crazy for not willfully ingesting hot-platters of horse-shit provided by Yahoo News and the like). 

Q: Sam, don't YouTube comments drive you nuts? Don't let them get you down man.

A: Thanks, I appreciate that. As I previously stated in my blog there are people whose job it is to "drive people nuts" via hateful YouTube comments. The way I see it, the more discouraging comments I receive the better because it means I'm agitating the consensus-trance (just doing my job). SIDENOTE: It's nauseating to me that our species looks to random YouTube comments from strangers for guidance. 

MORE FAQ TO COME (this is enough for now and I know there'll be updates added as time ticks away towards Dec 21, 2012...the day we all MAY or MAY NOT die according to Yahoo News, lmao).

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

MAINSTREAM BEAM!! (thanks Yahoo News!)

Sometimes life is too good to be fake (or true, whichever keeps your chin up).

So I was just doing my nightly reconnaissance perusal of Yahoo News and saw these 2 stories, practically side by side:

Shit-shoveling and mysterious appears as if my unique life-experience has reached the almighty DIVIDE & CONQUER brainwash-machine known as Yahoo News!

The Obama shit-shoveling story is the same repackaged news-story we see all day and night portraying the republican vs. democrat dog & pony bull-shnazz (OMG! Which professional wrestler is going to be Champion?!? Sooo entertaining and important!). 

The beam story is the same as the political one, only they replaced the 2 thought options with religion and science (DOOMSDAY or NASA?). It's interesting to note that Yahoo has equated this beam from 2009 with the beat-to-death "2012 Mayan apocalypse" meme, begging the question...why exactly does this particular beam have to be associated with a hypothetical 2012 doomsday scenario? Why can't it just be an anomaly? And of course NASA swoops in to save us all with the "scientific" explanation…"don't worry everyone, its just a faulty iPhone and NOT the end of the world". 

Umm, ok NASA…thanks again for being the outer-space information authority (filter). 

This is too good for words really, and what timing (right before my Sudden Porthole 2 crowd-funding campaign launch)!

I'd just like to give a personal shout-out to the consensus-trance script-writers for delivering me this golden goose of a juxtaposition: you guys keep proving me right by providing the perfect and seemingly endless stream of *TWO-THOUGHT-OPTION-STORIES*, stories that make life seem so REAL (or fake, whichever you prefer).

Long live unreality recognition and the fun to be had in doing so…!

Sam "BEAM BOY" Zurick

Hello from Chicago

Holy wow, so I made it to my hometown after a wild few weeks of odd-jobbing across the country (I got stuck in Missouri, as usual).

Magnificent Chicago skyline.
Just wanted to say I'm back working on Porthole related items now that the Joan of Arc shows are past (for the uninitiated, Joan of Arc is one of the bands I play in while in Chicago).

I have approx. 85 hours to get the fundraiser up and running before I begin working on the next Owls record full-time for the next month and a half (sorry if that sentence had too many disparate references to time-measurement, I'm still getting used to the big-city).

Have a great,

*update* Fundraiser delayed at least 5 days to due to a PayPal related oversight on my part (big fat upside down smiley face). Back to the Owls woodshop...